


C for Confidence

by draatfanders



Category: Columbine - Fandom
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25953694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draatfanders/pseuds/draatfanders
Relationships: Eric Harris/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	C for Confidence

April 28th, 2001

“Due date is Friday next week. Be prepared to put some hard work into this assignment ‘cause it will make a big deal for the final grade. Alright, thank you for today, class.’’

Getting up from my seat, I shove the books in my backpack as I lift it off the floor. The week had run smoothly. Nothing new except for that one kid that had joined the class. He wasn’t much of a talker, but he stood out from the crowd nonetheless.

Always wearing black. Always looking intimidating. The most annoying part about it was; I was drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame.

I had realized I was stuck with the assignment and I would need help. Algorithms and data structures. Why not ask him? He seemed smart as hell, always killing it with correct answers every time he was questioned by our professor. So what could go wrong, right?

Already ahead down the hallway, I nervously pull at the straps on my backpack as I glance over my shoulder, seeing him walk out of the lecture hall the same second. In that second, his eyes find me and I turn my head around like a coward. Jesus Christ y/n, this isn’t high school anymore. You’re a twenty-year-old woman. Man up!

I look back again, and he’s nowhere to be seen. Fuck, there goes my chance for the next three days. I don’t even know what dorm he lives in. Realizing I’m standing still, I glance around down the hall. Nothing.

“Who’re you looking for?’’ From out of nowhere, a voice I recognize is by my ear to my right. 

“Holy shit!’’

He breathes a quick chuckle but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not that scary.’’

“You sure? Cause my heart is still in my throat.’’

His response is a lopsided smirk, nothing else. “So, who is it that you’re looking for?’’

“Um, well, now you’re not gonna believe me. I was looking for you actually.’’ My heart is drumming in my chest and I’m stumbling on words. I feel so embarrassed. He’s so not scary, but my reaction to him is something else than just him catching me off guard.

The smirk widens and he lets his eyes fall to my mouth in a split second. Then he appears to brighten up. “What for?’’

“Oh um… I’m stuck with the assignment… for class.’’ I suck on my bottom lip, having a hard time looking him in the eyes. “I was thinking about asking you if you wanted to study together or something, sometime.’’

He’s burying his eyes in mine. “What makes you think I’d be smart enough to teach you anything?’’

I crack a smile, arrowing an eyebrow. “Are you kidding? You’re probably the smartest in class.’’

Shifting his stance, he seems to have trouble believing me. A hand goes to his head for a quick scratch on his temple. “I don’t know about that.’’ Then he straightens his back. “But sure, I could probably use a partner. Even though this one is supposed to be independent work.’’ Another coy smirk. Is he trying to tease me?

Rapidly trying to come up with a response, I stand like an idiot with my mouth open. “Uh…’’

“I’m just joking. Did you want to study today er…?’’ He doesn’t take his eyes off of me; hazel, passionate, carrying unknown wounds and secrets. He feels more mature than other guys his age. And his accent; not from here.

I try a vague smile, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear. “Sure, if you don’t have anything else planned. I mean it’s Friday and all.’’ I shrug and he wets his lips.

“Friday is just another day of the week. I don’t do parties or whatever it is people do.’’

I laugh, maybe a little too derisively. “I kinda figured. I’ve never seen you at any party.’’ I gulp and try to make up for my laugh. “And you’re new here so…’’

He looks away down the hall, wetting his lips again. “Yeah.’’

Hoping I didn’t offend him, he starts walking and I start moving as well. He glances at me. “Where do you live?’’

“I share a dorm room with this girl… Claire. And you?’’

He studies me before shifting his eyes to the floor. “Off-campus. Nothing fancy. It’s a cheap condo.’’

“Oh, but that’s still really cool. I’m trying to save up for my own place as well.’’

“Yep, it’s alright. I gotta work my ass off for the rent though. But it’s worth it, I guess.’’ 

We pass the entrance doors and meet the blazing sun. “You work too? That’s ambitious.’’

He breathes a chuckle. “Don’t you?’’ 

“I’m looking. I strive for the bigger companies. But I’m starting to realize I might need to downgrade a little bit.’’

“Right. After all, we’re still in college. We’re not a finished product yet.’’

I snort. “What’s that supposed to mean?’’

We stop at the side of a grey Honda. “Humans are pretty much a product. We’re trained to do everything a certain way. Obey, if you will.’’ 

“So you’re not doing this because you like it?’’

“I am. Doesn’t make me less of a product though.’’ He unlocks the car and smirks. “Are we going to my place or yers?’’

There was no question. I refused to be cramped up with him in my tiny dorm room. Especially with Claire there; she’d never stop interrogating me. His condo it was.

“Alright, make yourself at home. Sorry about the heat, the AC’s wrecked.’’

I searched around. The place looked neat for a dude in his 20’s. No pizza boxes lying around, no funky smells. “And this is all yours?’’

“Yep. What… you think I’m lying?’’

I shrug. “Who knows right.’’ 

Rolling his eyes, he snorts. “Pssh.’’ Walking into the confined kitchen, he gets two glasses from the cabinet. “Thirsty?’’

“Sure.’’ I nod as I sit by a bar table. He joins me shortly after, placing the glass and a can of Coke in front of me. I thank him and then we both go quiet.

“You ready to do some homework?’’ He takes a sip.

“Honestly? No. I’m so done for today but that would make this really weird, right?’’

He chuckles again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “And so the truth comes out. You lied just so you could hang out with me.’’

“Definitely not!’’ I gasp laughing. “I- you brought me here!’’

“Ah, yes. I totally forgot about the part where I kidnapped you and held you at gunpoint to get inside the car. My bad.’’ Another sip, another smug smirk.

Feeling as if I’ve been staring at him for too long, we both start laughing. Something about this kid, I swear…

“Where are you from? Your accent is not from here.’’ I lean in and rest my chin on my hand.

“Wichita, Plattsburgh, Denver… just a few places.’’

“...I don’t get it.’’

“I’ve moved around a lot in my life. Can’t establish exactly where I’m from. Though I imagine it’s the birthplace and that’d be Wichita, Kansas.’’

“Can I ask you why - you’ve moved around I mean.’’

“Work purpose. My dad was in the Air Force. He retired in 1993 so Colorado is probably the longest I’ve stayed somewhere.’’

“What made you pick Arizona?’’

He rips his eyes away from me, taking another sip. “Uh - it’s complicated.’’

“I’m sorry.’’

“Don’t be, it’s alright. I’m gonna order a pizza. You want one?’’ He stands up to grab the receiver and I agree on staying to eat. Order goes quick. Pepperoni pizza.

We eat in silence. I had no idea who this kid was, but something felt off about him. Not very talkative, in a sense disconnected to the world. Maybe even sad?

“Shit, I don’t even know your name.’’ I laugh.

He shoots his eyes at me and dries his hand on a napkin before reaching out to me. “Eric Harris.’’

Sturdy, I take his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m y/n.’’

He smirks. “Pretty name you got there. And a good handshake too.’’

"Yeah, I hate it when people give you the dead fish type of handshake. I don't trust those people. But I can trust you it seems," Referring to our still ongoing handshake, he looks down and lets me go in a split second.

"Oh," He breathes a laugh. "Shit… sorry if that was weird."

I let out a giggle. "That's okay."

"Do you wanna stay for drinks?"

"I thought you said you didn't do parties."

He raises his brows, a smirk growing. "I don't - do you see one?"

Pursing my lips, I narrow my eyes to desperately hide my intrigued grin. He had a mouth on him for sure, but it wasn't too much, and he played it well so far.

"I can stay."

Irish cream and tequila is what is served. I sip on my glass, glancing around his apartment once again. We'd moved to the couch and the T.V. flickered in the background as company or simple distraction.

"I have a question for you." 

As wanted, he brings his attention to me, taking a sip of his own glass. "Ask away."

"How the hell did you manage to sneak up on me like that today? I'm usually pretty observant."

He shrugs like it's obvious. "You didn't see me. I was there the whole time."

"No way."

"Yes way. Maybe you're not as observant as you think you are." He wets his lips and follows it up with a smirk. The fucking smirk.

Adjusting myself towards him in self-defense, I laugh in disbelief. "You don't even know me!"

"Yet you're here though. Did you like it?"

Looking down at the glass, I nod. "It's nice. It's like milk on crack."

This makes him chuckle, all the way from his gut. "You're absolutely right about that."

I laugh with him, possibly already feeling a buzz from the alcohol. No wonders. I'd barely had anything to eat today, except for breakfast and the four slices of pizza.

"It's nice to see you laugh." I blurt out and his smile fades a bit. "You're pretty grave looking in class - just saying." 

"I bet so. I'm just focused, is all. I didn't exactly come here to play." He takes a lare gulp of the tequila and fights off a wince as he swallows it down.

"What made you choose computer science?"

"I'm interested in the graphics. I wanna design games and such. Like in Doom for instance - have you heard of the game?"

I tilt my head. "Yeah, I've heard of it once or twice. I think that Derek guy from class plays it. Or so he told me."

"That's cool. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Computer science."

"Oh!" I pause to sit straight. "I have this crazy image of the future where everything is digitalized. And it's gonna be huge. I mean it already is, but we're talking beyond that. The industry appeals to me. Ever since my first computer… it felt like eureka!"

Eric's eyes go over me for a while. "Damn, that put my lame answer to the shits. You seem passionate about what you're doing. That's admirable as hell. And you're a girl. Even cooler."

I crack a proud smile. "Well, thank you. And your answer wasn't shit. You got plans and dreams - that's good."

There's a tiny spark in his eyes as he looks at me this time. Maybe he was finally warming up to me? At least a little bit.

I look down at my watch. 11:34 PM. Not too bad. The only thing worrying me was getting home from here.

I down the last sip and place the glass on the coffee table. "How old are you?" 

Our eyes meet, and I avert mine. His eyes are way too intense. He makes me nervous.

"I'm guessing as old as you are."

"And how old do you think I am?" Liquid courage helps me lock eyes with him and he wets his lips. 

"No older than 20. Tops." 

"That's correct. 1981. I just turned 20 in March." 

"Mine was two weeks ago. Birthday, that is."

"Ohhh - happy belated birthday then. We should celebrate!" 

"Is that an excuse for a refill?" He says and sticks his head at my empty glass.

I laugh. "If I wanted more, I'd just ask. Seriously, let's celebrate."

"And how are we gonna do that?" 

"We take shots. One for your birthday, one for mine and then… one for today."

"What's special about it?" 

I shrug, smiling. "I had a good time."

Once again, his eyes grow intense and cautious. As if he doesn't believe me. "You're just trying to get me drunk off my ass so you can rob me or something."

"You don't trust people, do you?" 

He freezes in his steps towards the kitchen but doesn't turn around. Instead, he keeps on walking again. "Not too much, no. Haven't found anyone worthy of my trust yet."

I get comfortable on the couch, pulling my feet up. "Really? Not a single soul?"

"Nah." I hear him rumble around the kitchen and I glance at the TV to think about what he just said. He can't mean it.

When he comes back, he places the bottle of tequila along with two small glasses on the table before sitting down. His scent hits me and I memorize it. Deodorant. Detergent.

"Alright. Let's see who gets drunk first." He sighs, leaning over to fill the glasses. I wonder if I'm bothering him? He'd tell me to leave if I did, right?

"I have to admit, I'm already feeling it." A little ashamed, I choke back laughter.

"Wait… from that tiny amount of irish cream? Geez, you're a light-weight. I'll beat your ass at this."

I arch a brow, grinning. "Is that a challenge?" 

He twitches the corner of his mouth before raising the glass to chug the shot down. "That one was for today. I had a good one too. Drink up!"

I grab mine and down it without wincing. "I'm no light-weight, my guy."

Raising his eyebrows to his forehead, he smirks, showing teeth this time. "I have a feeling you'll regret saying that."

We do another shot. And then the last one. An hour later and I'm definitely feeling the buzz. My skin is tingling, my cheeks are warm and Eric's looking cuter by the minute.

"What's that look for?" He says, and I blink myself back to reality.

"What look?" Holy shit, was I gawking at him for too long?

He chuckles. "That look - as if you're thinking of someone or something you like."

"Maybe I like you."

This time, his smile doesn't fade. It grows wider, and was that blushing I saw before he turned his face away? 

"Why would you like me? We just met."

"You can like someone even if you just met them." I shrug.

"I guess you do that a lot, huh?"

"Not at all - hey, why don't you believe it when I say something like that? You seem super suspicious every time." 

He laughs at my bluntness. "You learn to when you have to."

"When have you ever had to be suspicious about compliments?"

"High school. And to be fair, I never did receive any at all. So you can imagine why I react the way I do."

He shifts his eyes to me, then averts them just as fast.

My turn to be suspicious, I narrow my eyes. "You're lying…" 

"Wish I was." He snorts. "I can understand why you wouldn't believe me - you've never had the problem."

"And how do you know that?!"

Looking at the TV, he wets his lips. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? You're a head-turner, that's for damn sure."

My cheeks catches flames and the smile on his face lets me know he notices. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm not trying my luck here, I'm just being honest. Not that you didn't know already though."

"I like honesty. You want me to be honest too?"

"Alright."

I lean in, acknowledging the alcohol giving me balls to do so. "See… you're a good looking guy. That's why I can't understand the lack of compliments."

He smiles and so do I, and I can swear I see a little pink in his cheeks again. "Fair enough."

Silence falls over the room. I’m wasted by now, and thinking about how I’ll get home creeps up on me again.

“What music do you listen to?’’ 

Taking a deep breath, I hum. “That’s a tough one. But mostly eurodance. A good beat is a good beat. Oh - and the lyrics are imporant too. I can’t listen to meaningless songs about ‘fuck bitches get money’,’’ I do a goofy imitation of a rapper and Eric cracks up in a wholehearted chuckle.

“Damn straight. There’s nothing that provokes me more than those sauvy rappers with their smooth ass attitude. And their songs are freaking crap.’’

I nod in agreement, smiling from ear to ear. “Right!’’

He settles down, leaning forward to pour more tequila. “You listen to any techno? Have you heard of Rammstein, or KMFDM?’’

“I’ve heard of Rammstein, but I never listened to any songs. And KMFDM… no, doesn’t ring a bell at all. Put some on, I wanna hear it!’’

Without hesitation, he scoots forward on the couch to stand up but stops to lock eyes with me. “You wanna hear Rammstein or KMFDM?’’

“Let’s go for Rammstein first.’’

"Alright." He gets up right away, walking over to the stereo. He has CD’s stacked on top of it and two more racks beside. Too eager to wait, I stand up and join his side, searching through the titles. Rammstein, KMFDM, The Prodigy, Front 242… I can go on for days.

“I think it’s really cool you have your own taste in music. It’s different.’’

He doesn’t look at me, but he smiles. “Thanks. You’re one of few to think so.’’

A song starts. The volume’s loud, just the way it’s supposed to be. The intro is different; creepy. Then comes the beat. Eric immediately starts bopping his head to it and a smile is growing on my lips by the sight. The alcohol rushing through my system gives me the guts to do the same, even if I’m unfamiliar with this type of music.

“Hey - this is pretty good.’’ I yell and Eric looks up from the floor to bury his eyes in mine. 

“You think so?’’

“I do!’’ 

Discreetly, I take a step closer, shifting my stance. Eric supports himself against the wall with his hand, the other one on his hip. We stand there - stealing looks, awkwardly pressing our lips together in smirks. A sudden urge grows in me; he’s cute. Very cute. And it’s not even the alcohol talking.

Confidence as in trust. Confidence as in courage. I’ve found them both tonight.

I stop thinking and close that final space between us. His lips are like fire against mine and he freezes for a second before responding. A soft exhale rushes through his nostrils as a simple release of tension. Even though nothing else matters in this moment - the hard, pumping music reaches my ears, brewing it into so much more.

We break the kiss at the same time and only now do I realise he’s a head taller. His eyes are almost black in the dim light; surprised yet captivated.

I bite my lip, holding my breath. “Sorry… was that bad?’’

He continues to stare. 

“Can I kiss you again?"


End file.
